lunablossom's Diaryland Diary

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Backpeddling

Hey Stranger. How've you been?
I've been good. On Saturday I'll be signing up for FAFSA and on the Friday after Halloween I'll be registering for college. I'm more afraid of going back after 11 years than I am of anything else in my life.

It's like starting all over again but with a ten year loss of information. I'm going to have to do math again. I'm going to have to take a drawing class. I'm going to have to be reliable and show up. I can't get sick again. I can't.

I can't give up this time and I think that makes it all the scarier. This is my last chance. Maybe it will be easy this time. Maybe it will be cake. I know that all it takes is a little discipline. All it takes is for me to look at myself in the mirror and say "I can do it."

But in reality there will always be that voice that says "Can I?"

8:04 a.m. - 2006-10-25

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